This mothers day was a big deal for me. You see I’ve been living away from my home country for more than 14 years now. So of course every mother’s day since then has been just a text message or a phone call. Well last year my mum came to visit her grandchildren and we got to celebrate this special day together. My mum is my best friend and that is not an easy title to receive from a daughter. I must say though it’s been through working really hard on our relationship that has brought us to this level.
- Life is not a dress rehearsal: Never wait to be happy.
This is my mother’s philosophy. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard her say this. Her point is this: we only have one life. You are not getting another one, so stop playing around with it. Get serious on finding what makes you happy.
Happiness entails a few factors:
- Firstly, make sure you know what you want to do with your life. Find out what you are good at and focus on that. Then set your goals and you will find yourself achieving them.
- Secondly, enjoy the hell out of life. NO ONE is going to make you enjoy your life except you. We make the mistake of looking for happiness through others. We tell ourselves “My boyfriend makes me happy.” Or, “My job makes me happy” Which is fine. But, what happens when things don’t go as planned? When you get into an argument or you find out this is not what you actually want. My mum says “happiness is not dependent on anyone. You are fully in charge of your happiness and you choose to be happy at anytime, anywhere.”
- Thirdly and most importantly your health is important. Take care of your body and your body will take care of you. My mum is very health conscious because she is now dealing with consequences of not taking care of herself when she was younger. She walks for more than an hour a day. She eats vegetables for breakfast and she never eats’ sugar. She is physically strong and looks so much younger than she really is. She told me “your body changes after turning 30. If you do simple things like eating more vegetables, moving more and eating less sugar, the older you get, the stronger you get.” For me personally, It is amazing how by cutting my sugar in-take, I have actually increased my energy levels.
- Dream big: small dreams won’t take you far.
My mum was born in a small village in Kenya. She got married quite young and moved to the city where she went to college and started her career. At that time my parents had never travelled out of the country or could even afford it. One day she tells my dad, “I am going to travel all over the world. My work is going to take me to places I’ve never been before.” These were the late 70’s early 80’s when travelling out of Africa and going abroad was a huge deal. It was everyone’s dream. But my mum never said she hopes to do it. She said, she is going to do it. And you know what. She did. Her job took her to all the corners of the world and she got to experience so much culture and beauty.
Make sure your dream is so big it blows your mind even thinking about it. There is nothing you can’t achieve as long as you focus on it.
- In any situation, show kindness, love and understanding.
Whenever I’m going through something difficult, the first person I call is my mum. Sometimes (which is also quite strange) she calls me as I am literally going through some kind of crap. It’s definitely our special bond. When I am angry with someone at work or my friends or whom ever, she always tells me “Ceri when you get angry and you talk to the person your angry with at that moment, you will have accomplished anything. Never talk from a place of anger. First calm down and sleep over it if you need to. Then think about the issue with a fresh approach and remember we are all human beings going through something or another. When you approach any situation with love and kindness you will never go wrong. If your relationships mean something to you, then you will take the time to love and understand the person first. Don’t let ego take over.” She tells me this because she knows I am a very emotional person. Reason always kicks in later. The trick is to have a balance of the two.
I am grateful to have to wisdom of a mother, a woman and a friend all in one. She has taken all the lessons she has learnt in her life time and is passing them on to me. That’s what mum’s try to do. They want the best for you and will spend their lives teaching their kids through the lessons they have learnt if we let them. I hope you can appreciate your mum and her life lessons to you.